The 5 Habits of a Tech-Ready Family
Digital Discernment: The 5 Habits of a Tech-Ready Family
Tech-ready families raise kids with five habits. Protect Young Eyes (PYE), founded by husband and father Chris McKenna, teaches that kids being prepared and protected online starts at home, by parents monitoring their child's devices, having the tough conversations, and providing consequences. Schools, tech companies and lawmakers can support that work, but they can't do it for you.
That’s why he wrote 5 Habits of the Tech-Ready Family, and now his team travels the country sharing their practical tips.
During a September visit from Doug Crawford, a PYE digital safety expert, Saint Mark’s families learned how to apply the habits in their homes. Habits 1 and 2 build the relationship that everything else rests on. Habits 3 and 4 give parents the mindset to push back on a culture that treats heavy tech use as inevitable. Habit 5 is the practical layer of tools and settings.
Habit 1: Model the Right Behaviors
Kids copy what they see, so the first habit is to live the way you want them to live. Show them how! Let them see you slow down, put your phone away and enjoy real life. In other words, our digital actions matter! And this isn’t a new idea. Deuteronomy 6:5-9 reminds us that repeated actions stick. Raising wise kids starts with us!
Announce your tech intentions and ask your child's permission before posting about them.
Don't check email at the stoplight.
Learn to enjoy doing nothing and let your kids see it.
Write down your family's core values, then build a Family Media Plan from them.
Heal your own past wounds, so you don't parent from fear.
Habit 2: Pursue Authentic Connection
A strong relationship is the best protection a child has. Digital trust grows when kids know they can bring you anything and land safely and softly. This is especially important in the face of AI, which is coming after a relationship with all of us.
Don't freak out. Calm, empathetic responses keep kids talking. Grace and then truth (John 1:14).
Practice digital curiosity.
Tell them what you're afraid of, instead of spying on them.
Do tech side by side.
Talk about pornography early, often and in an age-appropriate way, so you are the authority (that’s what they call 10 before 10).
Practice safety routines, like "put it down and tell someone,” and rehearse scenarios like sextortion and tricky people.
Habit 3: Encourage Work and Play
Heavy screen use dulls development. The antidote is real-world responsibility and real-world fun.
Give kids chores. They build time management, empathy, a work ethic and resilience, and they reduce a child's dependence on digital entertainment for self-worth.
Protect unstructured, child-led play, especially outdoors. It builds creativity, problem-solving, cooperation and emotional strength.
Invest in in-person friendships. They are the best buffer against the anxiety and depression linked to heavy digital use.
Talk to other parents about tech expectations before sleepovers and birthday parties and prepare your kids for those conversations too.
Habit 4: Delay Addictive Technologies
Children's brains are especially vulnerable to products designed to hook them. The limbic system, which drives emotion, reward and impulse, is still developing in adolescence, so features like Snap Streaks hit kids harder.
Delay smartphones until at least high school, and social media until at least sixteen. This is the #delayistheway movement. Sign the pledge here.
Guard against "too much, too soon," meaning violent, sexual or adult content a child can't yet process.
Be so careful with video games.
If your kids already have devices, it's not too late. Start with relationship, explain the changes, and reset boundaries (there’s a whole appendix in the book covering this difficult situation).
Find a community of like-minded parents, because delaying takes courage.
Habit 5: Diligently Prevent Harm
This is the practical habit, and it is where parents monitor. PYE teaches wrapping kids in layers of protection, with prayer as the foundation. Prayer matters, but you can't pray porn out of your house, so the spiritual and the practical go together.
Relationship. Your connection with your child is the strongest layer (Habits 1 and 2).
The router. The Wi-Fi router is the most important digital device in the home. It provides network-wide filters, time limits, and visibility.
Devices. Start with a kid-safer phone such as Bark, use built-in parental controls and monitoring software, and share all passwords and passcodes.
Location. Keep devices in public spaces, not bedrooms.
App controls. Apps are often the weakest layer, so parents should approve every download.
Multiple layers are necessary to protect our kids from fast-moving issues like AI companions, deepfakes, and sextortion.
Why Parents Must Lead in the Digital Age
Technology keeps changing, but these habits don't. Monitoring devices, having the tough conversations, and providing consequences all belong to parents. Do them with grace, because kids who feel loved and safe at home are more likely to stay close, even when the pull of the screen is strong. And when you’re not sure how to lead on these issues, depend on organizations like Protect Young Eyes. Step by step and chat by chat, they have the tools to show you how.
If you missed Doug’s presentation, it will be available here until December 15. With the holidays approaching, it’s the perfect time to get your home’s devices ready! Chris from PYE has a couple of requirements for the recording:
This video is intended exclusively for Saint Mark’s families.
BUT, if, after watching it, you believe someone in your family or a close friend will benefit from the information, you can share it privately with them!
Please do not share the video link publicly in any way, e.g., on social media or a website.
Thank you!